My Yarn Path

I recently had the pleasure of beginning the Kaleidoscope CAL.   I have been looking forward to joining this CAL since I first saw the images of the finished afghans.  First, if you don't know me, you need to know that I am a seasoned yarner.  I have designed my own patterns, some complex some not.  When I get into a project I am excited about I am ALL IN.  Crafting, for me, is an amazing outlet, as it is for many people, who use it to destress, help get feelings under control or just to escape. 

We are all on our own unique paths.  Personally, I usually am on the 'quickest scenic route' to get to my destination-just like my real life.  I am in the left lane and occasionally wink and nod at the cuties as I pass them.  I admire all that I see around me and will stop to enjoy special moments.  I try to share my joy with everyone else, help others find their joy along the way and love to celebrate milestones and accomplishments.  I have never judged another crafter nor would I because I am fully aware of the unique path we all must take to find our joy.  I only want to be a bright spot in someone else's journey, and honestly, I feel that is something everyone should strive for in all aspects of their life.  Why would you ever strive to be a rain cloud?

Since beginning this CAL I have seen some of the best and worst of our craft.  Most people, are joyous, kind, helpful and fun.  But there are some, that are giant pot holes in the path of others' joy.  It is pretty sad that I have been made to feel like I cannot share my own success with the group because someone else is viewing a CAL as a contest or a race. 

I've blogged before about how crochet is truly my escape.  People always comment on how much I make or how fast I am.  Inside I'm just thinking how if they only knew that every stitch represented something I am trying to escape that they'd realize I'm not really 'proud' of my accomplishments.  Rather, I'm a bit embarrassed.  I don't need to tell you about  my personal demons to make you understand, honestly, I don't care if you do understand or not.  I have found my own path to happiness, but I do feel like I need to say SOMETHING because not all crafters have gotten to the same place in their path.  I would hate for a giant pothole to swallow someone else up and begrudge them their own happiness. 

One thing in this CAL is certain.  My husband will be having shoulder surgery this month.  This is his second one and I know what this four month recovery will mean.  I have lived it.  I will not have as much time to crochet or knit once this happens, and I'm trying to get as much as I can done now before it happens and I cannot work on this project that I have been so happily awaiting. 

Why should I have to write all this down as if I need to justify the amount of crocheting I have done in my life.  I can make one of these squares in 22 minutes.  Why?  BECAUSE I HAVE YARN IN MY HANDS ALL THE TIME AND IT IS WHAT MY BODY DOES.  Some people go to therapists, I yarn. 

I wake up at 5AM every day so I can box, and this earns me the right to sit on my butt during the day on occasion and make my heart sing with a hook or needles.  I also volunteer at Rock Steady Boxing which is a program for people with Parkinson's Disease.  I feel this also earns me a little bit of private personal time to do what I want with my life.  If what I choose to do  is escape my inner demons and crochet like a wild animal on the couch THAT IS WHAT I SHALL DO.

Our lovely hostess, the designer of this lovely afghan, deserves to have a group with joy and sunshine.  She has made this amazing work of art, shared it with all of us FREE OF CHARGE, and deserves to now sit back and revel in the wonders of happy people hooking the most lovely afghan ever.  To deprive her of this makes me pretty sick inside. 

Because of all of this negativity in the group I will be posting far less because apparently, it is frowned upon.  It saddens me a little, but that is how the world is, full of dark spots, and I crochet to get away from that.  I'm no going to find the dark spots.  I'll take a running leap over them and find my smile on the other side.